Lovely, lovely trip with the husband and two babes to Alabama to see my family. Lots of visiting, lots of eating, lots of chasing children, lots of driving, but, above all, lots of love.
Back at the ranch, things seemed to go well. The dogs survived our absence, as did the house (this house already burned down once--in 1978). The petsitters were diligent, and loads of mail and packages greeted us when we walked into our kitchen last night. It was Christmas morning all over again as we tore into the new gifts at 10pm.
One delightful part of the trip was seeing how content my children generally are. This is apart from one road-related discipline moment when the 2.5yo was yelling in the car for no other reason than to needle us and his 9mo sister. After N blew through the first warning, D and I were forced to pull over onto the shoulder of I-95 and get out of the car for a minute to show N that actions have consequences. My God, that was scary, and I don't see ever doing that again. Not only did semis roll by closely at 80mph, but the kids cried in our absence (as I would have). I think N learned his lesson. So did I: I need to find a less dangerous method to deal with screaming in the car. Any ideas?
A seems to be sick with a cold this first morning back, and while I am sorry for her, I am secretly pleased to have the time she is sleeping to put to organizing the house. As I type, though, I hear some coos from upstairs. A heavy diaper awaits me.
I'm pondering some goals for 2006, and hope to make a post on this topic in a day or so. Meantime, I've got to be Momma, sort through mail and pay bills, wash clothes, plan some menus, and run various errands. We're back in business here.
I hope that all of you are enjoying the holidays, feeling some peace and some love.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Sunday, December 18, 2005
'Tis the Season
The problem with time is that we think we have it. If we realized that we don't possess time, then perhaps we would become less stressed and more open to the miracles that happen every moment around us.
Please replace every instance of the word "we" with "I" in the above. I admit it, this lesson is for me. I'm the one who's grasping toward the illusion of time. I'm having trouble fitting in everything I have to do for myself and my family before we leave for my folks' next week. And isn't it a shame that I may be missing some of the magic? My 2.5yo son is just now discovering the wonders of Santa Claus, Christmas lights, stockings, and cocoa. I must slow down and breathe it in.
At the top of my to-do list, I should just write:
Every moment is an infinity, and yet, every moment is born and then dies.
Maybe de-pooping the backyard isn't so important after all.
So...
I am signing off until at least the end of December, if not the New Year, when I will return with a little list of goals I'd like to accomplish in the infinity of moments that we everyday folk like to call 2006.
I wish all of my brothers and sisters a wonderful holiday season of joy and peace.
Your faithful,
Mary Louisa
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Seven Things Meme
Oh, I do love a meme! It gives me an excused absence from creating a blog entry from scratch. Thanks to the fetching Lisa Coutant for tagging me.
Seven Things to Do Before I Die:
1. Visit the Puglia region of Italy
2. Finish the novel I'm writing
3. Finish writing and mail my Christmas cards
4. Make the kids' baby books
5. Ski in the Alps
6. Take a luxury cruise of some exotic coastline (without the kids, natch)
7. ummmm, nothing else comes to mind except to keep hugging and kissing and loving on the family
Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Lie convincingly
2. Tell a joke. To save my life. My trying to tell a joke is a comedy act in and of itself. You really will laugh AT me, not WITH me.
3. Throw a frisbee
4. See without contacts or glasses
5. Raise one eyebrow
6. Keep a houseplant alive for more than six months
7. Make a convincing croissant
Seven Things that Attract Me to My Spouse [romantic interest, best friend, whomever](not necessarily in this order!):
1. His sense of humor
2. His boyish good looks
3. His smarts
4. His height
5. His sensitivity
6. His creativity
7. His passion
Seven Things I Say (or write!) Most Often:
1. sure
2. yep
3. WOW
4. hugs
5. ML
6. holy crap
7. NO! (when you live with wayward pets and toddling kids, that one gets over-used)
Seven Books (or series) I Love:
1. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
2. Ceremony (Silko)
3. The Crying of Lot 49 (Pynchon)
4. And to Think that I Saw it on Mulberry Street (Seuss)
5. House of Mirth (Wharton)
6. Kozak's Wollie Shelley mysteries
7. Fair and Tender Ladies (Smith)
ooooooh, I could go ooooooon...
Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again:
1. Groundhog Day
2. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
3. Apocalypse Now
4. The Godfather
5. Miller's Crossing
6. On the Waterfront
7. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (Taylor/Newman/Ives)
Seven People I Want to Join in: (be tagged)
1. Lynsloo
2. Steph C.
3. Becky
4. Erica M-R
5. Christa (I know I just tagged you, but you need something to keep you off your feet)
6. Joshilyn Jackson
7. Shanraye
Be fruitful and multiply the meme, my daughters.
Seven Things to Do Before I Die:
1. Visit the Puglia region of Italy
2. Finish the novel I'm writing
3. Finish writing and mail my Christmas cards
4. Make the kids' baby books
5. Ski in the Alps
6. Take a luxury cruise of some exotic coastline (without the kids, natch)
7. ummmm, nothing else comes to mind except to keep hugging and kissing and loving on the family
Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Lie convincingly
2. Tell a joke. To save my life. My trying to tell a joke is a comedy act in and of itself. You really will laugh AT me, not WITH me.
3. Throw a frisbee
4. See without contacts or glasses
5. Raise one eyebrow
6. Keep a houseplant alive for more than six months
7. Make a convincing croissant
Seven Things that Attract Me to My Spouse [romantic interest, best friend, whomever](not necessarily in this order!):
1. His sense of humor
2. His boyish good looks
3. His smarts
4. His height
5. His sensitivity
6. His creativity
7. His passion
Seven Things I Say (or write!) Most Often:
1. sure
2. yep
3. WOW
4. hugs
5. ML
6. holy crap
7. NO! (when you live with wayward pets and toddling kids, that one gets over-used)
Seven Books (or series) I Love:
1. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
2. Ceremony (Silko)
3. The Crying of Lot 49 (Pynchon)
4. And to Think that I Saw it on Mulberry Street (Seuss)
5. House of Mirth (Wharton)
6. Kozak's Wollie Shelley mysteries
7. Fair and Tender Ladies (Smith)
ooooooh, I could go ooooooon...
Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again:
1. Groundhog Day
2. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
3. Apocalypse Now
4. The Godfather
5. Miller's Crossing
6. On the Waterfront
7. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (Taylor/Newman/Ives)
Seven People I Want to Join in: (be tagged)
1. Lynsloo
2. Steph C.
3. Becky
4. Erica M-R
5. Christa (I know I just tagged you, but you need something to keep you off your feet)
6. Joshilyn Jackson
7. Shanraye
Be fruitful and multiply the meme, my daughters.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Draw a Map for Me
Am I the only almost-novelist who is just now figuring this out? I drew a map of my fictional setting the other day. It was a revelation. An inspiration. A veritable well-spring of new ideas.
Until I set to diagramming the digs of my sleuth and her fellow citizens, I had ignored in my book concrete (pun intended) illustrations of what gives a small southern town its flavor--bits of local color that beg to be included. There are the monuments of racial strife: the "Academy," or the private school built to "protect" the town's white students from forced desegregation, and the Confederate soldier statue, who faces eternally South. There is the rich religious history: the AME Zion Church as well as the First Presbyterian. Change is inevitable, we know: What will become of the shuttered main street department store or the struggling independent hardware store? New apartments, a bowling alley, a Hardees or Popeye's, and a BP station squeeze into strange spots. A strip joint beckons from the outskirts, across from the Chinese buffet and the Guatemalan grocery.
Can you tell I enjoyed this exercise in world-building? I can't wait to get back to it. First though, two naps are now done, and with them two dirty diapers to be changed. Then snacks. Don't forget the two barking dogs due their dinners. A little playtime and laundry, followed by dinner preparation. But relief is in sight. My husband will be home early tonight (yes, 6:30 is early) for our once-a-week trade-off, when he lets me "do my own thing" for several hours. My atlas awaits...
Until I set to diagramming the digs of my sleuth and her fellow citizens, I had ignored in my book concrete (pun intended) illustrations of what gives a small southern town its flavor--bits of local color that beg to be included. There are the monuments of racial strife: the "Academy," or the private school built to "protect" the town's white students from forced desegregation, and the Confederate soldier statue, who faces eternally South. There is the rich religious history: the AME Zion Church as well as the First Presbyterian. Change is inevitable, we know: What will become of the shuttered main street department store or the struggling independent hardware store? New apartments, a bowling alley, a Hardees or Popeye's, and a BP station squeeze into strange spots. A strip joint beckons from the outskirts, across from the Chinese buffet and the Guatemalan grocery.
Can you tell I enjoyed this exercise in world-building? I can't wait to get back to it. First though, two naps are now done, and with them two dirty diapers to be changed. Then snacks. Don't forget the two barking dogs due their dinners. A little playtime and laundry, followed by dinner preparation. But relief is in sight. My husband will be home early tonight (yes, 6:30 is early) for our once-a-week trade-off, when he lets me "do my own thing" for several hours. My atlas awaits...
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Speaking of CEREMONY
I mentioned in the post below that one of my favorite novels is Leslie Marmon Silko's CEREMONY. In it, a battle-fatigued Laguna WWII veteran returns home to find his Pueblo dying. The book follows him on his journey to bring himself, his people, and his land back to health. In the process, he is treated by two American Indian healers. I just saw this link today on cnn.com.
Friday, December 02, 2005
15 things about books
Robert Gregory Browne tagged me for a book meme. You list 15 facts and personal preferences about books. It's my first meme!
1. Last year about this time I sold off approximately $300 worth of books from my collection. I don't regret it one bit.
2. At the same time, I donated approximately five moving boxes full of books to our AAUW yearly book sale.
3. At present, I own mostly paperback books. I seem to be on an unstated hardback moratorium.
4. I used to buy all my books used. Force of habit from grad school bag lady days.
5. Now I try to buy new books, since I understand better how an author's career depends on that particular exchange of capital.
6. As a child,my mother and I would go I would go with my mother to the downtown Huntsville (AL) Public Library once a week to check out books. We also checked out artwork to hang on our walls. I will never ever forget the smell of that building, especially the children's room, an odor I will always associate with inspiration and delight.
7. It never in a million years would've occurred to me to be afraid of germs in library books, as Anne Frasier noted, but now that I've read THIS, I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't be more careful. I do live close to Philadelphia.
8. My two children have approximately one-hundred books. The older is not even two and a half. About twenty of these are books from my own childhood. All but a handful of the rest were gifts.
9. We read POLAR EXPRESS to N last night for the first time. At bedtime he made D read it three times before he would allow the light to be turned off. He woke up an hour earlier than usual this morning, shouting, "My Express Book! My Express Book!" I had to begin the reading cycle again immediately. It has continued throughout the day. I cry every time I read the last page.
How many more days until Christmas?
10. My three favorite novels are, in no particular order, ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN (Twain), CEREMONY (Leslie Marmon Silko), and THE CRYING OF LOT 49 (Thomas Pynchon). I own multiple editions of each. I have lots of second favorites.
11. I have about twenty copies of my own book in my closet. I also have about ten copies of my grandmother's book of stories.
12. I own quite a few first editions by American authors. Do I read them? No. They sit on a shelf inside a closet where the light can't get to them. Brilliant.
13. Giving the gift of a book is one of the finest things one can do.
14. I have never seen my mother go to bed without a book in her hand. Ever.
15. I bought my mom a brick at my local library in thanks for instilling her love of books in me.
Oh, crap! I just realized (a few hours later) that I, too, need to tag people. I tag Christa M. Miller, Matthew Masucci, and Jason Evans to participate!
1. Last year about this time I sold off approximately $300 worth of books from my collection. I don't regret it one bit.
2. At the same time, I donated approximately five moving boxes full of books to our AAUW yearly book sale.
3. At present, I own mostly paperback books. I seem to be on an unstated hardback moratorium.
4. I used to buy all my books used. Force of habit from grad school bag lady days.
5. Now I try to buy new books, since I understand better how an author's career depends on that particular exchange of capital.
6. As a child,
7. It never in a million years would've occurred to me to be afraid of germs in library books, as Anne Frasier noted, but now that I've read THIS, I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't be more careful. I do live close to Philadelphia.
8. My two children have approximately one-hundred books. The older is not even two and a half. About twenty of these are books from my own childhood. All but a handful of the rest were gifts.
9. We read POLAR EXPRESS to N last night for the first time. At bedtime he made D read it three times before he would allow the light to be turned off. He woke up an hour earlier than usual this morning, shouting, "My Express Book! My Express Book!" I had to begin the reading cycle again immediately. It has continued throughout the day. I cry every time I read the last page.
How many more days until Christmas?
10. My three favorite novels are, in no particular order, ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN (Twain), CEREMONY (Leslie Marmon Silko), and THE CRYING OF LOT 49 (Thomas Pynchon). I own multiple editions of each. I have lots of second favorites.
11. I have about twenty copies of my own book in my closet. I also have about ten copies of my grandmother's book of stories.
12. I own quite a few first editions by American authors. Do I read them? No. They sit on a shelf inside a closet where the light can't get to them. Brilliant.
13. Giving the gift of a book is one of the finest things one can do.
14. I have never seen my mother go to bed without a book in her hand. Ever.
15. I bought my mom a brick at my local library in thanks for instilling her love of books in me.
Oh, crap! I just realized (a few hours later) that I, too, need to tag people. I tag Christa M. Miller, Matthew Masucci, and Jason Evans to participate!
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Turkey Atonement
So, to combat the karmic liability of eating the turkey, I made us a macrobiotic Thanksgiving feast on Saturday. My preparations began Friday night when I whipped up some home-made seitan. Yes, that's pronounced SAY-tan. You can believe it has supplied an endless stream of jokes in our house. I made it the traditional way, with 4 cups whole wheat flour and 4 cups unbleached white flour. You add water and knead all the bran and starch away, leaving only the rubbery gluten. Takes a long time, too much water, and leaves one's wrists rather cramped. Except for the wasting the water (I could've preserved it for bread baking or to pour on the compost pile), I think I upped my score.
So after you've created what looks like a tight ball of yellow elastic bands, you plop it into a broth of water, soy sauce, and kombu. (Macrobiotics is all about sea vegetables, you know, for which I'm game, pretty much, except for hijiki.)
I have to say that the finished product is not so bad! It comes closest to tasting like/having the texture of octopus, which we've eaten in Italy and the states. It's a tad rubbery, but picks up the broth flavor very nicely. If you don't want it to have the soy sauce flavor, you can cook it in another sort of broth, I suppose. And people also add herbs to the ball of gluten itself before cooking.
So after you've created what looks like a tight ball of yellow elastic bands, you plop it into a broth of water, soy sauce, and kombu. (Macrobiotics is all about sea vegetables, you know, for which I'm game, pretty much, except for hijiki.)
I have to say that the finished product is not so bad! It comes closest to tasting like/having the texture of octopus, which we've eaten in Italy and the states. It's a tad rubbery, but picks up the broth flavor very nicely. If you don't want it to have the soy sauce flavor, you can cook it in another sort of broth, I suppose. And people also add herbs to the ball of gluten itself before cooking.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Turkey Post-Mortem
So I ate some turkey on Thanksgiving. White meat. And it was good. Yes, I'm a vegetarian, or a fishetarian. Or something like that. But it was THANKSGIVING, for God's sake. I'm not made of stone, people.
We went to a restaurant buffet for Tgiving dinner and ate many nice foodses, including deep-fried something-or-other served in cream sauce. It was REALLY good. But I wasn't sure what it was, so I asked the waitress. And she in turn asked the chef, within my hearing. And he answered with what sounded like polkin ravioli.
She was as confused as I. She asked one more time.
He: "Polkin ravioli."
So naturally I had to go over and ask him myself, since although I am a food snob, I am not familiar with polkin. "What is it?"
"Polkin ravioli."
From a few steps away, my husband says, "Pumpkin ravioli." As though the waitress and I were in kindergarten.
And I felt like I was, too, because then I remembered they had it on the buffet last year. And the year before. I plead turkey.
Is "polkin" a Delaware pronunciation? Anybody?
We went to a restaurant buffet for Tgiving dinner and ate many nice foodses, including deep-fried something-or-other served in cream sauce. It was REALLY good. But I wasn't sure what it was, so I asked the waitress. And she in turn asked the chef, within my hearing. And he answered with what sounded like polkin ravioli.
She was as confused as I. She asked one more time.
He: "Polkin ravioli."
So naturally I had to go over and ask him myself, since although I am a food snob, I am not familiar with polkin. "What is it?"
"Polkin ravioli."
From a few steps away, my husband says, "Pumpkin ravioli." As though the waitress and I were in kindergarten.
And I felt like I was, too, because then I remembered they had it on the buffet last year. And the year before. I plead turkey.
Is "polkin" a Delaware pronunciation? Anybody?
Friday, November 25, 2005
Black Friday Sonnet
The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
A pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.
--William Wordsworth, of course. But you knew that.
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
A pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.
--William Wordsworth, of course. But you knew that.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Proud Mommy Moment
I have to share with you the picture my 28mo son drew of my 8mo daughter today. It was totally unsuggested, uncoached, unassisted by either my husband or me. As he drew the face, he told us what he was drawing ("eyes," "nose," "mouth"). Is he or is he not a creative genius?
In unison: Of course he is!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
I Think He's a Mariah Man
Gary is a feature writer, not a book reviewer, but he couldn't help himself when someone dropped a bomb into his inbox.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE.
p.s. I never got to the television last night to watch L&O:SVU. I'm hoping to be relaxing in front of the fireplace Thanksgiving night, so I'll look for more cop shows later on in the weekend. Thanks for everyone's sage advice.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE.
p.s. I never got to the television last night to watch L&O:SVU. I'm hoping to be relaxing in front of the fireplace Thanksgiving night, so I'll look for more cop shows later on in the weekend. Thanks for everyone's sage advice.
Monday, November 21, 2005
L&O
So, there's apparently been this HIT SHOW on for a few years now, called Law and Order, and since I am a) philosophically against hour-long dramas, and b) not watching television now at all, I have never seen it. Oh, I've caught a few seconds of big Chris Noth and sassy Jerry Orbach (RIP) through the years, surfing by in search of something fluffier, and I even paused one night to see if Noth could captivate me the way he had on Sex and the City, but, meh, not so much.
And all the mystery community is like--if you want to see good detective work on t.v., watch the first half of L&O. It's tight!
Cut to the chase: two Saturdays ago husband looks up NBC's Law & Order web site to get me the day and time. He tells me, "Sundays, 9/8c." Duly noted. Sunday we get everything out of the way, kids abed, etc. Sit down at the television (guess what room it's in? Yup: "peepee soaked heck-hole" family room--and two bits to the person who can ID the source of that quotation). And instead of promised program we are greeted with some Saturday Night Live Fiascos From The 80s special. Talk about making a special out of NOTHING! But I digress. Where is Law & Order???? D pulls up the same web page for me, and yes, it says Sundays, 9/8c. That just RANKLES me.
So, I go to tvguide.com to see if there are reruns of L&O until the next Sunday (which was two days ago). But no, NO L&O until Sunday the 27th! How can they make me wait on such an apparently popular show!!?? At this point in my story, if you are a sentient American of the twenty-first century, which obviously I am not, you will have been SHOUTING at the bloody monitor, MARY LOUISA, YOU ARE JUST TALKING ABOUT L&O:CI! THERE IS ALSO L&O:SVU AND EVEN L&O:PLAIN OLE-PLAIN OLE. IT IS ON NBC EVERY NIGHT OF THE FRIGGIN WEEK AND EVEN SOME CABLE CHANNELS, YOU PREHISTORIC LUDDITE!! JUST TURN ON THE TV AND IT WILL BE ON SOMEWHERE.
Well, okay, now I know. I'll be sure to tell you what I think.
And all the mystery community is like--if you want to see good detective work on t.v., watch the first half of L&O. It's tight!
Cut to the chase: two Saturdays ago husband looks up NBC's Law & Order web site to get me the day and time. He tells me, "Sundays, 9/8c." Duly noted. Sunday we get everything out of the way, kids abed, etc. Sit down at the television (guess what room it's in? Yup: "peepee soaked heck-hole" family room--and two bits to the person who can ID the source of that quotation). And instead of promised program we are greeted with some Saturday Night Live Fiascos From The 80s special. Talk about making a special out of NOTHING! But I digress. Where is Law & Order???? D pulls up the same web page for me, and yes, it says Sundays, 9/8c. That just RANKLES me.
So, I go to tvguide.com to see if there are reruns of L&O until the next Sunday (which was two days ago). But no, NO L&O until Sunday the 27th! How can they make me wait on such an apparently popular show!!?? At this point in my story, if you are a sentient American of the twenty-first century, which obviously I am not, you will have been SHOUTING at the bloody monitor, MARY LOUISA, YOU ARE JUST TALKING ABOUT L&O:CI! THERE IS ALSO L&O:SVU AND EVEN L&O:PLAIN OLE-PLAIN OLE. IT IS ON NBC EVERY NIGHT OF THE FRIGGIN WEEK AND EVEN SOME CABLE CHANNELS, YOU PREHISTORIC LUDDITE!! JUST TURN ON THE TV AND IT WILL BE ON SOMEWHERE.
Well, okay, now I know. I'll be sure to tell you what I think.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Did Someone Say Grey Alien?
Jason, just for you, I was able to upload a photo of the elusive alien who landed at our photo shoot.
Look familiar?
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Who Let the Dogs Out?
Monday, November 14, 2005
Good Sex Scenes
Author P.J. Parrish (Kristy and Kelly Montee) questions why mystery writers can't write good sex scenes.
Challenge accepted.
Challenge accepted.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Sunday Ketchup
Mmmmmm.
In a nutshell, this is what has been going on 'round here.
Gimme Shelter.
Shelter magazines have stolen my heart and mind again, dammit. I haven't subscribed to House Beautiful in at least four years (since moving to DE), but I picked up a few back issues of that and Home at the library and I'm hooked. Again. We are going to redo the family room, and I wanted ideas. Instead, I found crack.
What have you done with my son?
Never admit to anyone that your child's behavior is evening out. Unless you want to awaken the demon within. Yesterday's pea up the nose was small potatoes compared to his concerted attempt today to break his sister's leg. God. Where's that crack?
Anne Frasier Rocks.
She went and done me a Tarot reading. I asked her to look into my future as a writer. Love love LOVE the CHARIOT card over it all. D told me it must represent my Subaru Forester. (Cuz I also love love LOVE me some Forester.) Anne, I knocked off another from the TBR pile tonight, and am starting PLAY DEAD tomorrow!
Smiley When You Say That.
Yeah, okay, I'm gonna stick with the Smiley's 100 Books yahoo group. Please join with me. Or at least tell me I'm not mad.
In a nutshell, this is what has been going on 'round here.
Gimme Shelter.
Shelter magazines have stolen my heart and mind again, dammit. I haven't subscribed to House Beautiful in at least four years (since moving to DE), but I picked up a few back issues of that and Home at the library and I'm hooked. Again. We are going to redo the family room, and I wanted ideas. Instead, I found crack.
What have you done with my son?
Never admit to anyone that your child's behavior is evening out. Unless you want to awaken the demon within. Yesterday's pea up the nose was small potatoes compared to his concerted attempt today to break his sister's leg. God. Where's that crack?
Anne Frasier Rocks.
She went and done me a Tarot reading. I asked her to look into my future as a writer. Love love LOVE the CHARIOT card over it all. D told me it must represent my Subaru Forester. (Cuz I also love love LOVE me some Forester.) Anne, I knocked off another from the TBR pile tonight, and am starting PLAY DEAD tomorrow!
Smiley When You Say That.
Yeah, okay, I'm gonna stick with the Smiley's 100 Books yahoo group. Please join with me. Or at least tell me I'm not mad.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Dogs for Hire
Years ago, my husband and I joked that we needed to find R & W, our Italian Greyhounds, some occupation that would work off their energy and bring in some extra dough for us. I envisioned R pulling a mail wagon for the postman. W would've been good at running harnessed on a treadmill, recharging fuel cells.
But that was then, and this is now. And now it's no joke. Those dogs owe me big time for what it will cost to refloor the family room. After four years of the occasional "accident" (yeah, sure, W), the carpet is just beyond hope, despite my best attempts to clean up after them with enzymatic deodorizer. The carpet PAD has got to be a rancid, foetid (must be spelled that way to convey the proper degree of horror) mess, that I luckily cannot see. And what of the flooring surface underneath the pad? For all I know, a heretofore unidentified race of fungus is growing there, not unlike the strange sea creatures that thrive in untold depths of oxygen- and sunlight-free water. And when they are uncovered by the men in hazmat suits who will surely have to be called in to re-do our floor, the millions of spores will in unison utter tiny screams of pain at having been exposed to fresh air and daylight. The men will cover their ears and drop to their knees, Capt. Kirk style. It will be hell, and I hope not to be anywhere near to hear it. Or smell it.
Wait, where was I? Oh yes. The cost of new flooring versus my ass-face hounds. R's resume includes such gems as "friendly" and "can destroy stuffed things pretty well." W is kind of spastic, so I thought "enthusiastic" would be a good descriptor on his vita. His skillset includes "three-legged running" (that damn kneecap) and "cleaning up the backyard with mouth." I don't think they'd be insulted to work for minimum wage, and for sure they'd fill your diversity quota. Any takers? Anyone? Hmmm?
But that was then, and this is now. And now it's no joke. Those dogs owe me big time for what it will cost to refloor the family room. After four years of the occasional "accident" (yeah, sure, W), the carpet is just beyond hope, despite my best attempts to clean up after them with enzymatic deodorizer. The carpet PAD has got to be a rancid, foetid (must be spelled that way to convey the proper degree of horror) mess, that I luckily cannot see. And what of the flooring surface underneath the pad? For all I know, a heretofore unidentified race of fungus is growing there, not unlike the strange sea creatures that thrive in untold depths of oxygen- and sunlight-free water. And when they are uncovered by the men in hazmat suits who will surely have to be called in to re-do our floor, the millions of spores will in unison utter tiny screams of pain at having been exposed to fresh air and daylight. The men will cover their ears and drop to their knees, Capt. Kirk style. It will be hell, and I hope not to be anywhere near to hear it. Or smell it.
Wait, where was I? Oh yes. The cost of new flooring versus my ass-face hounds. R's resume includes such gems as "friendly" and "can destroy stuffed things pretty well." W is kind of spastic, so I thought "enthusiastic" would be a good descriptor on his vita. His skillset includes "three-legged running" (that damn kneecap) and "cleaning up the backyard with mouth." I don't think they'd be insulted to work for minimum wage, and for sure they'd fill your diversity quota. Any takers? Anyone? Hmmm?
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
True confessions
Oh, the remorse of a Yahoo groups junkie. I've thought better of my signing up last night for a book club group. It's for Jane Smiley's Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Novel; the group's aim is to read and discuss one book per month from Smiley's reading list of 100. It would take nine years, but I cannot take it at that clip right away. I have so many OTHER books I want and need to read right now besides the ancient ones on the beginning of her list. I fear I must go unsubscribe myself. At least I don't need a lawyer to get out of this one...
Monday, November 07, 2005
Great Holiday Movie!
I think I'll rent this movie over Thanksgiving weekend. Sounds like a great family flick.
Now relive the original trailer, one of the greatest of all time. And that MUSIC? I'm TELLIN' ya.
Now relive the original trailer, one of the greatest of all time. And that MUSIC? I'm TELLIN' ya.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Hold the Mayo Clinic...for now...
I’m a member of the sandwich generation. Just today, I stood for ten minutes at the Target pharmacy counter, seven month old daughter strapped to my chest, to discuss with the pharmacist the proper dosing of glucosamine with chondroitin for one of my geriatric Italian Greyhounds. Yes, I have two young kids and two old dogs, and it is killing me. My dogs, both approximately ten years old, are equivalent in age to my parents, and in much worse shape. Bad teeth, bad skin, bad kneecaps, brains, and thyroids. Not to mention the $4000 bionic leg.
I would rather have my parents living with me at this point than my dogs. It would be cheaper, and I much prefer my dad's blueberry buttermilk pancakes on Saturday mornings to getting up early to shove pills down the sticky throats of pets who have long since gotten wise to our attempted camouflages of peanut butter, baby food, soft cheese, and balls of bread. I will spare you the details of the toothbrushings; suffice it to say that everything the dogs have eaten chez backyard ends up stuck in the finger cot bristles I use to massage their aged maws. This to prevent further $55/tooth extractions at their twice-yearly $250 dentals.
Is it too late to look into pet health insurance?
I would rather have my parents living with me at this point than my dogs. It would be cheaper, and I much prefer my dad's blueberry buttermilk pancakes on Saturday mornings to getting up early to shove pills down the sticky throats of pets who have long since gotten wise to our attempted camouflages of peanut butter, baby food, soft cheese, and balls of bread. I will spare you the details of the toothbrushings; suffice it to say that everything the dogs have eaten chez backyard ends up stuck in the finger cot bristles I use to massage their aged maws. This to prevent further $55/tooth extractions at their twice-yearly $250 dentals.
Is it too late to look into pet health insurance?
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