Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Martial Plan

This started a few days ago: "Momma, you do NOT talk to your boy that way."

You might call that sassing. And believe me, I don't enjoy hearing that from my 2.5yo. But when your son is "the quiet one" at daycare--never the instigator and never standing up to the bully--it can be a relief to hear him finally assert himself.

I checked with his lead teacher today, who told me N is just now starting to speak up when someone hits him. I'll help him practice those verbal responses in make-believe situations here at home.

Here's the thing, though. With his sister, the boy can dish it out in spades. Pushing AC around is the highlight of his day. But since she's still basically a sitting duck--or at least a slow-moving one--and won't be defending herself any time soon, a part of me wants to show N how to push back. And it is not the Buddhist part.


jason evans said...

I believe that children (or humans in general) need to have direct experiences to understand what it's like on the other side. My older daughter got into a pushing phase where she kept decking her younger sister. I made a decision. I pushed her once. She was devastated emotionally. It only took one other time to reinforce the feeling. She stopped.

Many may disagree with me, but I'm a pragmatist.

Mary Louisa said...

Children are self centered, so I do try to encourage N to remember how something felt bad to him so he understands how it will feel to others--e.g., a push.

Unfortunately, though, N's experience of being the pushee at daycare hasn't translated into him not wanting to push his sister. sigh.