Practice Makes...a Practitioner

If perfection is equivalent to lacking nothing in this very moment, then I guess practice might also make perfect.

It's not that I DON'T mind..

I'm not sure my blog title fits just now. Sure, things could change with a sneeze, but at the moment I'm practicing having no opinion.

A moment of silence

I have drafted scores of unpublished blog entries through the years. More, lately, than ever before. Right now I am not pleased with what I've written, nor do I particularly want to share what I think. And mere pleasantries seem a waste of all of our time.

Hence, the long pause. Just breathing, I guess.

Rocket Is One with the Universe

Marchwind Blue Monk, CGC, 1995-2008
Our dear dog Rocket, our first dog as a couple, our stubborn, energetic, beautiful Italian Greyhound, was laid to rest in our backyard on December 31st, 2008. He will be remembered fondly by the five remaining in our household, our extended family who knew him well, and our good friends and neighbors.

Here are a few blog posts of the past four years featuring that old hound:
June 10, 2004
June 23, 2004
July 19, 2005
Nov. 11, 2005
Dec. 18, 2007
Dec. 27, 2008

Saying Goodbye

D and I have decided that it is time to tell Rocket goodbye. Probably tomorrow at our vet's.

Rocket's Status

The 13.5yo dog is wobbly. He has trouble keeping his balance, or his muscle strength is gone, or both. His haunches were weak before the surgery, but now his shoulders/front legs are weak too.

I took him to our vet today and she checked for vertigo and sensation in his limbs, also for obstruction in his large intestine and for glucose metabolism. All were fine, she said. We have moved off of one antibiotic onto another because one spot in his incision is weeping, but it doesn't look like an infection, she said. He's off the pain meds, and being transitioned from the low-residue food back to his old food.

We just don't know why he is unsteady. Yes, he's blind, but he would run blindly into the fence after a suspected squirrel in the past. Now he can barely take two steps without a wobble and possible fall onto his side.

She has me trying to feed him Pedialyte in case his electrolytes are out of whack. Trouble is, I can't get him to drink it (I got the plain type). We are running out of ideas for the poor guy. I take him back to have his staples removed Friday afternoon. I'll have more to report then, I guess.

Year's End

Just some tidbits to munch on as we finish out the year.

Rocket almost died. He ate an ungodly amount of inedibles a week ago, and now has a long incision down the middle of his belly, lots of staples, and is pretty unsteady. The good news is that he is eating and drinking well and will probably be okay. He is my first baby, so this was quite a scare for me.

I like this ncfoodie person's blog: inmymind-ncfoodie.blogspot.com. Check it out!

Today, I have rented Brokeback Mountain for the, oh, tenth (?) time from the library. There is a strong possibility that I will finally watch it tonight. But maybe not.

With my Border's gift card, I bought Sara Gran's Dope and an address book. Can't wait to dive into both. Luckily, one already has words in it.

I've got to stop using Facebook. My multiple personalities coexist uncomfortably on one page that friends from all my eras can access. As my worlds collide, who will prevail? The fair but tough professor? The high school cheerleader? The swinging grad student? The aspiring mystery writer? The gay divorcée? The married mom of two preschoolers? Can they really all be the same person?

A former student called me a few days ago to check in. She does this a couple times a year, and that's okay. Just between you and me, I've always known she was mentally ill. That was a dicey situation, of course, because SHE never knew. But now she knows, and even told me so during the course of our conversation. Funny thing was, she sounded the sanest I've ever heard her. She got married last year. I'm happy for her, I guess, because it was what her parents wanted, and she lives for her parents, but I honestly felt like getting her a lifetime prescription for birth control as a wedding gift, because if there's one person I didn't want to have a kid, it was her. But now, maybe with medication and therapy, she can take better care of herself. She deserves it.

Kiss Parody

This St. Sanders parody of KISS (aka PISS) is the funniest one yet. If you are a KISS fan, then you quite deserve this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw5oJoUYTb8

You've got to check out his other shred parodies: http://stsanders.com/.

What a difference two years makes

I advised the children that in the nature documentary we were about to watch, March of the Penguins, some of the penguins and their chicks "don't survive."

"They die?" asks my five-year-old son. "Is it fiction or non-fiction?"

"Non-fiction. It's the real world, just on camera."

My son's face goes white, his lips turn blue. "I don't want to watch it," the boy says in between sobs.

"I do," says the three-year-old girl. "I like it when people die," she says enthusiastically.

"They aren't people. They are penguins," I tell her.

"Oh. Yeah! I like to watch penguins die!" she nods with a smile.

She just wants to watch the movie and will say anything to get me to put it in the DVD player. Or else she is the next Aileen Wuornos.

What my son doesn't remember is that he saw this DVD two years ago, and didn't have a single negative reaction to the "Circle of Life," as it is referred to by a certain entertainment organization. I think mine grow into their sensitivity gradually.

Remember those sandals?

The Ferragamo sandals I coveted in an earlier blog post? Well here is an updated pic with a foot in it. Zexy.

Here's the naked shoe.


And by the way, I got the price on them. One thousand and ninety dollars. For two sandals. Naaaah.

Three Going on Thirty

You may already know that every night before my daughter drifts off, she draws me in to a surprising Q&A peppered with scraps from the recent past. Tonight she channeled her preschool teacher and made my husband's sinus problem her own.

AC: "My body seems a little stuffed up. With something. I think I need something for it."
Me: "Sleep?"
AC: "No. That's a good guess, though. Something else. What could it be?"
Me: "Let's talk about it tomorrow, okay?"
AC: "No no no. I need to take something. Hmmmm. What is it?"
Me: "Good night."
AC: ...

I Wanna Perfect Body; I Wanna Perfect Soul

This takes up lots of my energy. The wanting. I used to work at it. Now I just want.

Population Control through Better Corn

I guess it's going to happen, whether we want it to or not:

http://www.gourmet.com/foodpolitics/2008/11/politics-of-the-plate-infertility-from-gm-food

I have always wanted to...

Thought I'd come over to the blog and brush away a few cobwebs. Blogwebs. Weblogs. Dust off the weblog. Yes. That's it.

Just for funz, I'll make a little list of five things I've always wanted to do. Mind you, I'm the type of girl who's gone ahead and DONE what she's "always wanted to do," even if it wasn't so wise, so it is really curious that I haven't gotten these done yet. I think the arrival of children five years ago has had something to do with the slowdown in my goal-fulfillment. So, without further ado, I have always wanted to

1. Build a cabin or garden house from scratch.
2. Grow enough backyard garden produce to be self-sufficient in the veg department.
3. Stay a few nights at the Four Seasons in NY, no holds barred.
4. Help low-income families learn how to eat healthier for less money.
5. Finish writing a mystery novel.

Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi

Going to see La Bohème tonight at Opera Delaware. Molto tragico.

Mealticket may be voided

Why do I let the blog languish for so long? I was doing pretty well there for a few months, and then it kind of fell away as the economy, well, fell away.

So, grim news on Tuesday, 10/28/08, from the husband's Mothership: 10% of jobs in the community publishing division (perhaps your hometown newspaper is part of it) will be cut by the first week in December. His position survived a 3% job reduction in August. This round will be bloodier and may take his job with it. If not this time, then maybe the next round.

I have lined up two adjunct courses for the spring 2009 semester. No benefits, middling pay. I just have to show up and teach. No committees, no formal office hour requirements, no reports, assessments, blah-blah-blah. So at least I got that going for me. Gaaah. Maybe we can pay off this AC and furnace someday soon.

Worrying Times

*edited to add:* I recommend you read this 9/18/08 article about the rise in "tent cities" across the U.S.

*and another add from today (9/18/08):* Major disaster would overwhelm aid agencies.

I am concerned for the well-being of each American citizen.

As if they weren't rising astronomically already, prices will go up further, as manufacturers and suppliers are faced with higher interest on the loans they carry.

Layoffs and downsizing are already widespread, but this immediate financial crisis will lead to even more job cuts as businesses find they can no longer support salaries and benefits for their people.

Everyday folks who carry adjustable rate loans are soon to see their payments skyrocket. Foreclosures, already a problem, will grow exponentially.

Just getting credit approval will be almost impossible for those ready to buy a home or a car.

No job, no home, no car, no food. The Next Great Depression?

People, let's start looking out for one another now. Think of what you can do to help your family, friends, social circle, and greater community stay close and stay strong.

And if you can afford to donate to the great need in the Gulf states, then send some relief to the victims of Hurricane Ike.

It's Happening Again

A shoe hasn't called to me in years. The last one I remember was a Gucci bit loafer. I'm afraid the calm has ended, though. I accidentally leafed through the entire September issue of ELLE at the coffeeshop yesterday morning. (Which is all the more troubling because even though I was momentarily horrified, I was ultimately undeterred by the photograph of Jessica "lumberjack of love" Simpson on the cover.)

Yenny-hoo, within the weighty tome I saw advertised these Ferragamo platform sandals . Da-roooooool.

You just don't understand me and a certain kind of shoe. And this is that kind of a shoe. Which I guess makes me that kind of a girl. Cripes, they are FIERCE.

My husband's and my social calendar will afford me approximately, um, ONE place I could wear these in the next six months. Plus, I could go on a lovely vacation for what I imagine they cost (can someone find me a price?). But they continue to haunt me. I wonder what color toenail polish would go best?

Bless His Heart

My husband just made me a Mojito. One. And I'm definitely affected. Something about having only 70% of your usual blood volume makes you more susceptible to alcohol. But IT'S SUMMER! I'm going to sit back and enjoy. Here's to you, Hemingway.

Could She, Should She, Would She?

After ten minutes of searching, I just unearthed my cv from a cobwebbed corner of Word documents labeled "Professional." Obviously, I hadn't visited there in several years. Yes, I'm dusting off the old academic resume. I swear I do not remember writing or delivering half of my publications or papers. Nonetheless, I may dip my toe back in the water by inquiring after an adjunct class or two for the spring semester.

Why the urge to make the dramatic return to academia after four years of working from home as a freelance editor? I just spent a thrilling weekend in the North Carolina mountains with three of my best girlfriends. They knew me through the bone-crushing days of English graduate school, the confidence-wrecking years of job searching and hopping, and the labor-pangs of writing and publishing. And then there were the marriages and two children each of us produced.

My three wise sisters gave me the push I needed to look at who I was, who I am now, and who I have the capacity to become. And, I cannot stress this strongly enough, THERE WERE NO CHILDREN ON THIS VACATION. Have no doubt, our weekend getaway WAS ALL ABOUT US!!! Wheeeeeee! Yes, we talked about our kids when we needed too, but we really pretty much just talked about ourselves. And--quelle surprise--everyone in the room listened! And asked questions! And posed theories and offered advice, both solicited and not. But even the unsolicited advice was valuable, for goodness sake. I for one drank up the atmosphere like wine. We drank that too, as you may have guessed.

And my conclusion (one of many, really) is that maybe I need to get back into that ivory tower and see how the view is from my window. Maybe it will suck. In which case I'll move on. But maybe I can get back into an old, often delightful groove. Honestly, I have toyed with the idea several times a year, but some recurring health problems kept getting in the way. I'm confident that later this year I will be finding some relief from the anemia and its cause, a thought that energizes me.

First, though, I've got to spiff up the resume and reconnect with some former colleagues. I wonder how much has changed in the last four years?