Friday, June 18, 2004

Shizzolate that blog!

I have some respect for some rap and hip-hop artists (see short list below), and Calvin Broadus, aka Snoop Dogg, is not among them. To be fair, however, I can't say I don't like his work, because I just don't know his work (other than what I hear twelve year olds in headphones singing on the bus--think Pretty Woman in the bathtub with Prince's "Kiss" on the Walkman). This English professor does admire the man's brilliance in selling himself through a novel use of the language, though. I've caught snatches of Snoop's shizzle language in some unexpected places, National Public Radio among them, but never really understood when it was okay to throw an "izzle" into a word. So I was relieved when my husband found something called "tha shizzolator" on Snoop Dogg's official web site. It is so freakin' funny I had to share. (Word on the site is that it's running slow now that everyone has discovered it.)

So, I decided to translate my own work to see how far I had to go to master the shizzle. Here's an excerpt of what the shizzolator gave me back when I translated my June 6 blog about baby's first string of steps on his own:

Down 'n Up 'n Ahead 'n Behind
I feel like I've been driving a bumper hooptie izzall day today. My 10.5mo took tha dude's first giant steps this afternoon, know what I'm sayin'? Tha dude's been taking one or two here 'n there fo' a month now, but izzall of a sudden, today, tha dude forgot tha dude wasn't holding my fingers 'n walked six steps n' shit. Yo' ass see, tha dude has a new hat that tha dude loves. It wuz on tha dude's heezee, 'n tha dude wuz so intent on looking up at da brim that tha dude just took off across da floor. I cheered 'n cheered once tha dude stopped (I had been holding my breath until then) n' shit. And a few moments later, tha dude wuz clutching da hat, waving that shiznit in da izzle, 'n took eight unassisted steps. And promptly izzle nursery carpet, leaving a bright red burn on tha dude's cheek. Much wailing 'n real tears n' shit. And that wuz da end of walking unassisted fo' today. I hope tha dude will forget tha dude's spill by tomorrow 'n try that shiznit izzall over again.

As mentioned above, shortlist of hip-hop/rap acts I usually like:
Public Enemy
Beastie Boys

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