Don't Miss Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Kiss Ya

Tonight I was cleaning my study in preparation for the painting and reflooring, and I found print-outs of two emails from a student in an online American literature class I taught four years ago. They arrived within five minutes of each other, about an hour after I posted the semester's grades. Not only did the student not sign his or her name, but s/he wrote the wrong course title in the subject line.

So, for your amusement, I type verbatim:

8:03pm
I hope that you checked my very good, because I never worked so hard on a paper and get such a bad grade. Thank you for making me never want to take a another online class, I had Three people pro-read my work and two are engish majors.

8:07
Dear, Pro, [My last name].
Please don't take this the wrong way, but there is no way I should recieve nothing lower than a "C" it's a shame, shame on your teaching skills.

I guess what really got my goat about these emails is that this person--a college student, no less--didn't know that if you capitalize "Three," you must also capitalize "Two." Good God! No wonder I failed him. Or her.