Just When I Thought I Had it All Figured Out

I discover today I've been drinking caffeinated coffee. All day long. Every day. For two weeks.

It's all falling into place. No wonder I haven't been getting to bed until 1am.

And then haven't been sleeping. Thank goodness I weaned our daughter a few weeks ago.

Damn the Target for carrying a brand I'd never seen in a huge size at a great price. Behold:



THE FREAKING CAN IS GREEN.

Update from the Kitchen

One houseguest, third birthday party, husband's protracted business trip, major power outage, and tree explosion later, I'm back. I've made about three grocery runs since last we talked, including one to replace stuff I had to throw out when the fridge got too warm for comfort. I will tally the results of those visits in a day or two.

We're still doing a good job of living out of the pantry and freezer, though, with the addition of produce and dairy. I have been taking advantage of some loss leaders at the Superfresh to restock (e.g., butter and cheese to freeze, Snapple for D's lunches, canned olives, tuna).

Just a few notes:

Potatoes baked in the microwave (russet and sweet) really don't taste any different to me than those cooked for an hour in a hot oven. The "experts" always complain that the texture of oven-baked is so much more delightfully fluffy. I've never oven-baked a fluffy potato in my life, and I've tried every recommended method I've come across. What I like most about baked potatoes--the potato taste, the salt, and the butter--can be had from four minutes in the micro. (Be sure to poke it with a fork a few times unless you like cleaning baked-on potato crud from the walls of your oven.

My salad days are a-changing. I have very few lettuce plants still producing, but the tomatoes and cucumbers are just now getting started. I should be letting go of salad greens and moving on to marinated and fresh vegetable salads at this point. However, I purchased some Romaine today for $1.99/lb, and probably shouldn't have. I have a taste for Salade Nicoise and couldn't resist. I didn't have time to make it tonight, so we had a Caesar salad instead, but I'll do the whole Nicoise shmear tomorrow.

My 16mo daughter likes Romaine lettuce with Caesar dressing. Very strange indeed. She likes it so much she learned to say "salad" after just one bite.

It's a monetary blessing that my grocery store is out of pine nuts. As I am burdened with a ton of fresh basil (poor me), I will give walnuts a try for my pesto. I already have some in the freezer, and this recipe looks darn good. I'm also going to throw caution to the wind and use the trusty green can of Kraft grated Parmesan that's on my shelf rather than spring for pricey chunks of Parmesan and Romano.

Skinflintstones, Day 7

One week is behind us. How'd we do?

Running Total: $63

Shopping Today: Had to get basic menu prep stuff for our lovely meals for the houseguest this weekend, plus party food for my son's third birthday tomorrow. At Target, I spent $9, with sales and coupons, on two boxes Cheerios, two boxes Post Honey Bunches of O's, and two boxes of MSF "sausage" and chik patties. At Superfresh, I splurged a bit for our dinner tonight, plus I did some stocking up on sale items: French bread, two loaves of sandwich bread, Hamburger buns, potato chips, frozen peas, feta, sour cream, sushi, gal of whole milk ($3.89--$.50 more than the other grocery store!), and marinated artichoke hearts, all for $25.

Menu:

breakfast: cereal, bananas, milk, juice

lunch: leftovers, sandwich, milk

dinner: Greek pasta, grilled salmon burgers, fish sticks, milk, white wine, salad w/cucumber, tomato, and avocado

dessert: ice cream sandwiches

Thoughts:
tomorrow I need to get a fruit platter ($$) and lemonade along with the Thomas the Tank Engine cake from the Shopright. If I had a few spare moments, I could buy whole fruit from the orchard and cut it myself (although I will add their fresh peaches to the platter). I just don't have the dang time!! That is often the trade-off, no? How much is YOUR time worth?

Skinflintstones, Day 6

Getting tired of this yet?

Running Total: $29

Purchased Today: Went to Highland Orchards and picked up some produce. Broccoli crowns, $1.89/lb; white peaches, $1.89/lb; blueberries, $2.99/qu; lovely canteloupe, $1.49. Total was $13. (I always round to the nearest dollar for my totals.) Produce there is almost always cheaper than at the corporate supermarket (Superfresh). And even when it's not, I have no qualms about supporting my long-standing neighborhood farmers over the conglomerate who sells produce from who-knows-where.

Menu:

breakfast: cereal, soy/milk, NutriGrain bars, bananas

lunch: sandwiches, leftovers, apple, pudding

snack: graham crackers, milk, apple juice

dinner: lasagna, bread, broccoli, canteloupe, red wine, milk

dessert: blueberry cobbler, ice cream, ice cream sandwich

Thoughts:
Didn't have time to go to the grocery store today, just the orchard. I plan to go to the Superfresh and the Target tomorrow to get some food for our meals and for the birthday party Sunday. I'd love to visit Trader Joe's, but I know I will spend money on things we don't need. Their stuff is reasonably priced, but most of what I buy from them are luxury items.

Skinflintstones, Day 5

Running total: $16

Shopping: Had to get a few things at the Superfresh, so I stocked up a tiny bit for the month by shopping the loss leaders. Purchased tomatoes for $.99/lb, loose garlic, 18 eggs for $1.50, 2 boxes Kraft Mac&Cheeses for $.60/box, 2 boxes of store-brand round waffles (froz) for $1/box, and a bag of pretzels for $2. Grand total of $8. I thought I did pretty well.

Menu:

breakfast: cereal, fruit cocktail, juice, milk, soymilk, banana

lunch: MSF garden veggie patties and buns, sandwiches, applesauce, fruit cocktail, juice, milk

dinner: cheese tortellini Alfredo w/mushrooms, green beans, salad w/tomato, rolls, mac&cheese

dessert: banana, waffles and syrup

Thoughts:
Two important things in terms of expenditures this month: a) my brother-in-law arrives tomorrow for three days, and b) my son's third birthday is Sunday, for which we are having a party for approx. 15 people. I've decided that I will put his birthday groceries into the month's tally, but not his cake ($19). The big shopping trip will be tomorrow. I will not skimp on my guests, but I will try to find good food at the best prices. Wish me luck.

Skinflintstones, Day 4

Running Total: $8

Needs:
Out of garlic and eggs. Making lasagna for our houseguest (one of D's older brothers) Friday night, so these are necessary very soon. Plus, I imagine we'll be using eggs for breakfast while he's here.

Menu:

breakfast: milk, cereal, Nutrigrain bar, soymilk, bananas, English muffins

lunch: sandwiches, apples, fruit cocktail, frozen pizza, milk

snacks: graham crackers and milk

dinner: breakfast! scrambled cheese eggs, English muffins and jam, MSF sausages, more fruit cocktail, apple juice

dessert: honey roasted peanuts

Thoughts:
Alphabeter reminded me that if I didn't have these two toddling tornadoes, I would have time to make my own things more cheaply from scratch. Those were the days...

Lands' End of the Road

I am embarrassingly fond of Lands' End. Am in fact wearing a pair of their jeans; I own at least three, probably four. Maybe half my casual wardrobe and much of my work wardrobe bear their label. I've bought from them for about twenty years, until two hours ago, when I was pretty dissappointed to see this inside the latest LE Kids Catalog (in fold-out card form):
The Lands' End "Squish-a-Bug" shoe-size chart.

Can someone explain how a company that has such a wonderful, classic, outdoorsy, level-headed reputation decides to promote kids killing bugs for fun?? Yeah, sure, it's a joke. But it's senseless, you know? It reads, in part, "Go on kids, squish the bug!" hahahaha. just closed the wallet.

I also just sent them an email detailing my disappointment. I'll let you know if they write back. And hey, if you're disappointed too, it wouldn't hurt to let them know.

Go to their customer service form and write your comments. When you click on submit, if you have my experience, you will get an error screen. Sadly, another strike. You'll know in a few minutes, though, if they've received it, because they will write you back with a tracking number. I sent multiple forms of the same comments because I thought it was not going through due to the error screen. But they received at least two of these, come to find out. Oh well, I guess they'll see how much this "bugged" me. Roll those eyes, people.

Skinflintstones, Day 3

Running Total: $8

Menu:

breakfast: cereal, bananas, milk/soymilk

lunches: sandwiches, leftover "Mexican lasagna," leftover vegetables, scrambled cheese eggs, English muffin, milk, applesauce, apple, snack pack pudding (lunch items look ridiculous all together, but I send D to work with a packed lunch that is very different from ours at home)

snacks: blueberries, graham cracker squares, milk

dinner: coconut milk curry w/mushrooms, peas, strips of MSF Chik Patties, and golden raisins over brown rice; corn on the cob; fish sticks; rolls; milk--always the milk for the kiddos

dessert: honey roasted peanuts, red wine

I took it easy on the decaf today--only three cups.

Thoughts:
I'm cooking and feeding us like we are not skimping, primarily because I have a well-stocked house and I'd already planned the menus before I got this hair-brained idea. I suppose once we start running low on something I will begin to get creative. I also suppose I'd better make some kind of rule for myself like, "I will only buy groceries that are necessary for our continued good health, food that I can't make at home." (And thanks for the cereal bar idea, Alphabeter!)

Don't Miss Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Kiss Ya

Tonight I was cleaning my study in preparation for the painting and reflooring, and I found print-outs of two emails from a student in an online American literature class I taught four years ago. They arrived within five minutes of each other, about an hour after I posted the semester's grades. Not only did the student not sign his or her name, but s/he wrote the wrong course title in the subject line.

So, for your amusement, I type verbatim:

8:03pm
I hope that you checked my very good, because I never worked so hard on a paper and get such a bad grade. Thank you for making me never want to take a another online class, I had Three people pro-read my work and two are engish majors.

8:07
Dear, Pro, [My last name].
Please don't take this the wrong way, but there is no way I should recieve nothing lower than a "C" it's a shame, shame on your teaching skills.

I guess what really got my goat about these emails is that this person--a college student, no less--didn't know that if you capitalize "Three," you must also capitalize "Two." Good God! No wonder I failed him. Or her.

Skinflintstones, Day 2

Running Grocery Total: $8

Menu:

breakfast: cereal, NutriGrain bars, milk, bananas

lunches: leftovers from last night's dinner, cheese toast

snacks: snack-size packages of Teddy Grahams (bad choice--bought the 15-pack at Target specifically for outings, not for home snacks)

dinner: spaghetti and canned white clam sauce, peas, Trader Joe's roasted balsamic vegetables (froz), rolls, salad w/tomato and black olives

dessert: graham cracker squares and peanut butter, red wine

Thoughts:
I drink a lot of decaf. It isn't cheap. Maybe I could cut down.

Shopping:
Bought some bananas at $.50/pound, some apples at $1.49/pound, and a gallon of whole milk ($3.39). Spent about $8.

Meet the Skinflintstones, Day 1

My mission:
To spend as little as possible on groceries (food items only) for the next month (July 9 to August 8). At the end of the month, I'll tally my expenses for future reference. I estimate that right now, I spend approximately $400/month on our food, which is way, way too much.

Not knowing I would launch into this project, I shopped yesterday at Superfresh, my overpriced neighborhood grocery store (I shop the sales AND use coupons), and picked up some fruits and veggies at Highland Orchards about two miles away. So, while I am relatively well-stocked in terms of pantry, freezer, and fridge, I will be trying my best to help us live off our stores for the next month. It's me, my husband, my almost 3yo, and my 15mo. Let's see how we do!

Today's menu:

breakfast was cereal, milk/soymilk, bananas, two cereal bars

lunch was sandwiches of various sorts; we also finished last night's leftovers (tofu and green bean Thai stir fry w/brown rice)

dinner was Mexican lasagna (beans, corn, tomatoes and tomato sauce, spices, fake meat crumbles, layered with corn tortillas and jack/cheddar cheese), steamed zucchini and onions, and salad w/avocado. Fresh peach and blueberry cobbler for desert. Kids had graham crackers.

Running low on:
whole milk for the kiddies (D drinks soymilk); only four bananas left

Thoughts:
So thankful I do not have to economize in order to make rent or pay medical bills. Replacing the family room floor seems quite luxurious by comparison. Until you witness the heinous odor assault down there. D and I have almost decided how to proceed with flooring, but in the meantime he is painting the walls to get us moving on the redo. He rocks.

Brighter Days

Well, the flooding rains are gone. (For now?) We celebrated by steam cleaning the nasty half of the family room carpet, but to no avail. It still stinks. I know conventional wisdom says steam cleaning won't do a thing for pet odors if they have penetrated the pad, but we thought we could do some good. Nay. I am more convinced than ever that we need to get a hard-surface floor down there, after we trash the fifteen year-old blinds, clean and paint the walls, and tear out the mess that we walk on daily. Then we have to scrub the cement floor and baseboards with some odor annihilator; no small task, I imagine. After all those preparations, we can install (or can we afford to have a professional do it?) a wood laminate floor, I guess, although that laminate stone is awfully pretty. Awfully expensive, too. "Laminate." That is a funny word when you say it a lot.

My annual July 4th peach pie is baking in the oven. I am incredibly lucky to live a hop and a skip away from Highland Orchards, a long-running family farm that isn't officially organic but shuns pesticides and chemical use. Their peaches are now coming in and I selected white ones this year. I've only used the yellow ones in the past. I follow the two-crust peach pie recipe out of How To Cook Everything (although I'm hesitant to plug the guy since he dissed Julia Child). The following will be our little secret: I use Pillsbury refrigerated pie crust. P.C. (pre-children), I would've donned my dark glasses to buy a small tub of Crisco (gasp) for the homemade crust.

Yesterday (Sunday), D, N, AC, and I had an outing to the Kalmar Nyckel Ship Yard, which hosted "A Gathering of Tall Ships." We toured the Kalmar Nyckel, our own tall-ship-in-residence here in Wilmington. There were other ships there, too, plus some pirates, live music, and vendors. An all around fun day.

D works today, but is off tomorrow for the fourth. We don't have much planned except that D will take N to his first fireworks show, on the riverfront (near the Ship Yard, in fact). AC will be in bed already (we hope), so I will stay here with her and the dogs.

I suppose that's our news of late. Nothing fancy, nothing too exciting, but I think that's good for me just now.

Rainy Days and Tuesdays

We aren't flooded yet, but it may just be a matter of time. The humidity is getting to me as much as the constant rain. Our house smells like we've been baking--but nothing you'd want to eat. More like a casserole of smelly sneakers, dog illnesses, and soiled diapers. Can't open the windows, don't want to crank the AC to 65 degrees to drive out some of the funk. We'll just avoid having guests for a while.

Not a great day today. Come to find out at a dr's appt that my 15mo daughter is not the strapping 23 pounds I assumed. She isn't even 22. She's somewhere in the 30th percentile for weight, and close to 95th for height. She saw the surgeon today to recheck her umbilical hernia and to see about a lump behind her ear. Those look fine for now, but the doc noted she was a little skinny. AC's 15m checkup at the pediatrician is a week from Thursday, so we will have a talk then about how in the world to get this kid to eat more. For lunch today, all I could get in her were two bites of almond butter and jelly sandwich, three bites of pizza crust, and about five sips of whole milk.

And I came home to two piles of diarrhea from W, my NON-hemorraghic gastroenteritis-victim-dog (that was R a couple weeks ago). It's moments like that that make me not want to have our family room recarpeted or refloored at all. Why not let the dogs keep being sick on the rust shag carpet from 1978 until we eventually move? Yes it is hideous. Yes it stinks, especially on damp days. But if we keep it steam cleaned regularly, maybe we can tough it out. These eleven-year-old dogs can't live forever nor will we be in this house much longer, right?

AC and I are going to try to visit a few furniture stores this afternoon before we pick up N from daycare. We are moving him into the guest room and will need at least one kid friendly dresser and a few safe lamps for him. I'm wondering if we need to clean and rebind the fraying Oriental rug that is in there, since he is all for pulling at loose strings around the edges of things. I'm sure that will set us back a few hundred at least.

I could continue a sort of update on all things me that have transpired since my last post, but it probably bore you and surely depress you. I'm just full of sunshine today, aren't I? What I need to do is get off the intarweb, put my contacts on, grab AC, and look at more furniture. I'm outie.

I'm back, but not for long

We returned from vacation Sunday night and I just haven't stopped running since. R fell ill the same day we got him and W back from the boarding kennel (Monday), and that has been a bit consuming, as has the visit of a very special friend and her family who stopped over last night. So, now, I'm going to make a quick update and then get the heck out of internet land for a little longer until I can create a little more peace around here. And there's still the looming mountain of laundry to be dealt with.

The week in Jekyll Island was a dream, considering I was sick as a dog when we left the house for our two-day drive down. I was functioning again by about the second day at the beach, and a grand week it was.

The kids enjoyed everything, I mean everything about the vacation. N even decided it would be a hoot to use the potty all the time. All kinds of potties (even tried a public urinal once), and all kinds of positions. I witnessed his first stand-up pee, and he's still keen for that even now that we're home. He stayed dry nearly the whole time except upon wake up. We won't talk about his desire to poop only in his pullup, though. Babysteps, right?

A was her usual daredevil monkeygirl self, hurtling her 23 pound frame headlong into the waves before anyone could catch her. She spent a great deal of time climbing onto and off of the chairs around the house, and continues that new hobby here at home. Last night, she went head first off the couch during one of her acrobatic routines. Miraculously, her skull landed on N's thigh before she hit the wood floor.

D and I had some couples time, thanks to my folks and my sister's family, who agreed to pitch in with some babysitting. We rode horses on the beach one night at sunset, and enjoyed a nice seafood dinner at SeaJay's followed by an oceanfront stroll another. D's parents drove up from FLA to stay overnight one night and visit with us and the grandbabies.

We were severely limited in our contact with the outside world. This, I loved. In fact, I am pining for it now. I really don't have much motivation or desire to be as "plugged in" as I was before we left, so for now, I won't be so active on my own blog, or reading and commenting on others. It's not that I don't love ya, but my heart is somewhere else right now, somewhere closer to home.

So keep on doing whatcha do best, friends, and I'll be thinking about you all until we meet again.

The laundry calls...

Peace, Out for a Fortnight

Getting geared up for the big road trip with the husband and kiddos. We're going to Jekyll Island, Georgia, for a week with the rest of ma famille. This will be my last post for at least a couple of weeks, because I'm about to start packing in earnest (leaving in a bit over 48 hours). It will take us two days to drive down, we'll stay a week, and then there are the two days back up, and--boy--that's a lotta driving and time away from home!

This may be the big mistake of the summer, but I'm not taking my laptop. I'm not even taking a hard copy my novel-in-progress. I will take a notebook and some pens and pencils, but I'm not expecting anything to make its way to the paper unless the brownies also do fiction. (Did anyone else's Brownie Handbook have the story of the brownies who came in to the cobbler's workshop at night and helped him finish up his shoemaking? Or clean up his mess? Or something? They've probably edited that one out in favor of some story about more realistic role models like Audrey Hepburn or Serena Williams. Did I say realistic? I digress...)

So I'm not planning on doing any writing at the beach. Reading? Yes.

I'm taking Julia Spencer-Fleming's In the Bleak Midwinter, Michael Connelly's The Closers, Allison Brennan's The Prey, and Cathy Pickens' Southern Fried. Lord knows, what with my plans to tour the historic district, go horseback riding, bicycle with D, cook, eat, and shop, I may not have any time to read. Yes, there's always that lolling on the beach thing. I've heard that's very relaxing for people who aren't chasing a 14mo perpetual motion machine and an almost 3yo imp. Most likely, the books will be devoured on the ride to and fro, and in bed late at night.

Gotta go lay out the kids' outfits, so I guess this is goodbye for a bit. I will say to you, as my parents used to tell me when they left me to my own devices, "Keep your nose clean."

I never really understood it. Is it snot-related?

p.s. The dogs weren't invited, sadly. So they will be relocated to a deluxe compound with heated floors and four-legged neighbors whose butts they can sniff with abandon. Hmmm--maybe that's what it means.

Food Love

This is one of my favorite products. You add milk and butter, and--voilá--something a hell of a lot better than your typical bland Alfredo sauce. It is tangy (has blue cheese in the mix) and garlicky to boot. So now you know why I am sorry to report that my #*&($ supermarket hasn't carried it for months now. If I had a minute, I'd ask them what's up. As it is, I will just sulk. I tried Knorr's Alfredo sauce mix in its absence, and my mouth fell asleep in the middle of the meal. I hate the jarred Alfredos, too. I need something with some zip.


So while I'm complaining about food, my favorite baked beans are on sale this week, and my flavor is the only one they are out of. Standing in line for a rain check was out of the question today, sadly.


And because I am nothing if not loyal, I have to share one of my most favoritest products ever with you: Heart-Smart Bisquick (used to be called Low-Fat Bisquick). I use this stuff at least once a week for anything from "quiche" to cornbread to, yes, biscuits. There's not much it can't do--I can make you a three piece suit out of Bisquick if you give me enough lead time. Is it being Southern that makes me a devotée? Or just being addicted to baked goods? Someday I'll share my raspberry-apricot cream cheese Danish recipe with you. It's from the '70s and thus for full-fat Bisquick, but I've made it with Neufchatel and low-fat Bisquick, and it is still teerifique.

In case you were wondering, these three will never appear together at dinner chez moi. Maybe the beans and the Bisquick in some proximity, but the McCormick mix? Naaaa. I have some standards.

Mother's Day Weekend

Why is Mother's Day singular possessive? Isn't it a day for all mothers? It's not my mother's day. It is also my day, and a day for lots of otherses' motherses. I will stop this now, and go on to give you some highlights of my nice weekend.

Saturday I went to Andrew Wyeth: Memory and Magic, at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Really an excellent exhibit chronicling his looooong career, explaining his personal symbology, and--new to me--showing how wonderfully he fit(s) into the Surrealist movement of the 30s and 40s. We saw the Dali exhibit at the PMofA last spring, and the connections I was making as I viewed this one were stunning.

I especially enjoyed seeing the local scenery in Wyeth's works (he spent much of his life about twenty minutes from my house). But try not to think of him as a painter of quaint landscapes. For me, the exhibit was kind of like my "rediscovery" of Robert Frost. Yes, I knew his poems were inscribed into the American psyche. But I figured they were all convenient captions to Currier and Ives prints (nevermind the historic disconnect!). But NO. Once I was ready to revisit them (in graduate school), I realized these were deeper, darker poems than anyone had cared to point out to me before. Same holds true for the masterpieces of Andrew Wyeth. Yes, it's a pair of fishing boots. Quaint Maine lobster hokum, right? But NO. It's a portrait of Wyeth's friend and local ne'er-do-well, Walt Anderson. It's a portrait of his friend, but it's just his boots. The same way the painting of two doors is a portrait of his neighbors Alvaro and Christina Olson (the blind subject of Christina's World--probably his most famous work).

I've rambled enough about the exhibit. Obviously, I thought it was great. So if you're in the area, please take a peek.

That was Saturday. So how was my Mother's'es' Day on Sunday? Just wonderful. D let me sleep in. He supplied the family with my beloved Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. He watched the kids when I wanted to go poke around at the nursery and the hardware store. We worked in the yard. We took a walk. We played. We got takeout for dinner. IT WAS FANTASTIC. It's why I got into the business, friends: 'Cause one day a year, they let you do whatever the hell you want. ;)

N was all about donuts at breakfast. We stopped him at one and a half, but that didn't mean he couldn't keep asking, right? When we told him that breakfast was over and he needed to quit asking for more donuts and go play with his sister, he replied, "Can I play with a donut?" I almost let him, just for being so damned entertaining.

Home Alone. But Not.

So my husband is sitting next to an empty seat at Don Giovanni and I'm stuck here listening to the decidedly anti-classical wailings of "Daaaaaddy, Daaaaaady, Daaaaady" from my son's bedroom. I've been trying to put him to bed for the last hour and a half with no success. I'd dearly like to be in that empty seat, wearing the outfit I had to take off two hours ago when it became obvious the babysitter was a no-show. She called an hour after she was due with profuse and tearful apologies as she sped to our house. I told her to turn around--that I had sent D so at least one of us could be on time and see the whole thing--and that she was forgiven. It sucks that she's just a typical forgetful seventeen year old, cause I totally want to scream at someone, but she doesn't deserve my wrath. She feels bad enough already.

sigh. Had been looking forward to this show for months. The current aria chez moi is "'Ant more water. 'Ant more water. 'Ant more water, Mom." He's kind of got a rhythm going.

Going to be a sucky night.

Date Night Report

And a grand Friday night it was, my friends. The weekend started off with a gigantic bang when D and I, starstruck and gape-jawed in the third row of the DuPont Theatre, beheld Joyce Carol Oates and Salman Rushdie for nearly two hours. My fellow blogger Lisa Coutant interviewed me about the evening, and you can find my answers to her questions here. Thanks, Lisa, for giving me a spot on your entertaining and informative blog.

While you can read the highlights of the panel discussion on Lisa's blog, the rest of the evening was not without merit, as I shall describe forthwith. I decided on a whim that we should have a drink at a restaurant bar, something we have done too seldom since starting our little family almost three years ago. Did I say "too seldom?" I meant "never." So, we capped the brilliant date with champagne martinis* and a chocolate lava souffle at Deep Blue Bar and Grill, while listening to live music and occasionally checking on what we astutely predicted would become a nip-slip of epic proportions. The victim was not I, thank goodness, but a well-endowed blonde across the bar whose right breast for ten minutes doggedly worked itself free from its tiny triangular bond.

And on that illuminating note, I shall end my recounting. Would that all spousal date nights were so entertaining.

*"Martini" is a term that is these days bandied about far too much for my liking, especially when certain drinks so labelled have as little resemblence to the actual article as Jessica Simpson does to Grace Kelly. But I am happy to report that a champagne martini turned out to be not such a bad thing. Delightful, in fact.

Belated Thank You to Mr. Philly

Duane Swierczynski is a successful editor-in-chief, blogger, and author of many works of fiction and nonfiction--his latest is THE WHEELMAN, so go buy it. He's also a great ambassador for the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia. I'd like to give a public shout-out to Duane for recommendations on parking and dinner in Chinatown. We met some out-of-town friends there a few weeks ago and tremendously enjoyed our repast at the Malaysian eatery, Penang. After fattening ourselves up on squid, duck, shrimp, and vegetables that were sauced, noodled, riced, and pancaked every which way but NOT, we waddled down to Walnut Street and finished out the evening with some local brews at Moriarty's.